Life is just a rollercoaster isn’t it?
I think I may have said that before. But it really is, certainly an emotional one anyway.
This week I have exchanged contracts on the house and have a completion date of 30 June!
I still can’t believe it. Literally, 3 months ago I had no idea this was going to happen and yet here we are. We are so close to moving into our new house. A brand new start for me and my daughter and I just can’t wait.
All I need to do it try and keep the anxiety at bay. It is trying to wreck my feelings of happiness by making me feel scared about taking on more debt. Urgh, mental health sucks. Just when you feel like it’s all coming together BOOM … it’s there pulling you firmly to the ground.
And it’s so strange because I am just so happy. This house is the exact house I wanted 3 years ago. I went online, saw this house, requested a brochure and stuck it on my notice board. I looked at it every day and when I was told I couldn’t get a mortgage because I hadn’t been teaching long enough I took it down. So when the opportunity came to buy this exact house, in the area I wanted to live, on the estate where my family is, how could I say no?
Obviously, after being told I couldn’t get a mortgage, I thought I would have to do it the long way; be in employment for a year, pay the debt off in full and save a £20k deposit. I was happy with that and accepted it. But it hasn’t happened like that. I got the call to say the house was available, my name was a the top of the list and I had to make a decision there and then if it was going to be a yes or a no as they had a list as long as their arm for people who wanted it. At that time, I had no deposit, no mortgage offer and I’d only been in my current job 3 months. Would this be enough?
A couple of calls made and I rang back and said yes let’s do it. I still wasn’t sure at that time if I would even get a mortgage! I was on tenterhooks waiting for the bank to say yes and I was so relieved when they said yes.
Since that day, the last few months have been a whirlwind. The house is now legally ours. The move is getting closer. And as exciting as it all is, my anxiety is through the roof! I am taking on an extra £11500 worth of debt (deposit), my mortgage and life insurance is increasing, I need to pay for building and contents insurance and as it’s a new house, I need a lawn, blinds, light fittings and curtains lol …. All I see is huge EXPENSES!!
Is it worth it? HELL YES!
But I can’t sleep. I look at my bank account several times a day. I look at my budget each night, sometimes just staring at it (not sure what this achieves). I’m checking the news and researching ways to reduce bills until the early hours of the morning. It’s fair to say I’m becoming obsessed. I come out with a stress rash on my neck when bills hit the floor and I’m checking plug sockets are off around the house like someone with OCD. It’s no joke.
I’m hoping this is a small period of intense anxiety I’m going through, as this is such a big event in my life and after I’ve moved in it will stop.
My friend and I were talking the other day about anxiety and I was talking about how money makes me anxious and especially with what’s going on currently with the increases in living costs, it makes me feel like I’m not in control. None of us are. We can do all the cutting back we like but if inflation is hitting the poorest families up to 14% how do we cope with that?
The government are bringing in extra measures to help people on benefits and pensioners which is a fab idea but what about the people who are just over the benefit cap – like me? I feel like a carry a huge weight around being a single parent and only bringing in one income. It’s all down to me. The weight is sometimes so heavy it feels like its crushing my chest.
So I work as much I’m allowed and it allows me to feel like I’m doing all I can. We can only do this can’t we? In a way I’m quite lucky my employer makes us sign the Working Time Directive so we are unable to work more than 47 hours a week, because if they didn’t, I work even more. I still work 7 days though. I feel like I can’t stop now either. Not whilst the country heads to a recession and costs are increasing even more.
I know I’m not alone in my thoughts and I am well aware that I am better off than others out there. I understand that it’s a privilege that I can afford my bills, food, pay off debt and save abit. But unfortunately, I still feel worried about it all.
With all the research I’ve been doing, I plan on lots more blog posts coming your way. I have got a few in the bag that I am just finalising and when I’m on holiday next week I hope to make them live. I really hope you find them useful so make sure you subscribe to my blog (it’s free to do so) so you won’t miss them 🙂
What I Have Spent This Week
- £10.66 Macdonalds
- £7.10 M6 Toll
- £2.89 Road Chef
- £1.65 Coop
- £6.86 Post Office
- £3.89 Maccies
- £4.09 Morrisons
- £2.85 Coop
- £39.18 Morrisons food shop
- £49.53 Petrol
- £10.00 Cash
- £9.05 Newsagents
- £5.29 Shop
- £11.09 Snacks
Total £ 164.13
I had some extra expenses due to extra petrol to attend my Grandads funeral and accidently took a bloomin toll road!! Couldn’t believe I did that, I even got off the toll road and then Google maps put me back on it! I was also naughty and picked some service station snacks and a Macdonalds breakfast :). The other bits seem snacky again, just like last week, although last week I spent more, so it’s definitely going in the right direction.
This week I’ve been paid and my budget is done for the next month. My challenge this month is just to stay in budget and not spend outside it at all. Especially, as I could be moving soon and need the money for that and not snacks!!
I’ve been thinking about doing this alot and have finally made my mind up but I AM GOING TO START THE YOUTUBE CHANNEL I set up in January, The Money Wise Mum YouTube Channel and I am going to vlog about my journey too. I feel this will be the one thing that keeps me on track and as I find some YouTube channels so inspiring, hopefully by me sharing my journey it will help others too.
So, in my first YouTube I will be bearing all my budget, income and expenditure and hope you will all join me online and subscribe 🙂
Have a great week! Thanks for reading, Heidi x